Friday, July 27, 2007

I got locked out

So yesterday morning I get out of bed and I am preparing to go to University at 9am for a crash course on R (a statistical software package). As I'm getting dressed, I check my phone and there's a text-message from German roommate Chris, "Hey josh. could you place both yellow and gray bins at the street? i forgot it. cheers" And while I am taking the trash/recycling bins to the street (in my boxers) the door slams behind me and I'm locked out. It's 8:30.

I have three options:
1. Break in
2. Call a locksmith
3. Wait for Chris to come home

There's no way I'm waiting around all day on the porch (in my boxers) for Chris, so I try to break in. The doors are all locked, and all the easily accessible windows have metal bars on them (the houses in the area all have barred windows - I guess because we're in the city). I go around to the backyard and think, "What would Jack Conte do?" My plan is to shimmy up the drain pipe, swing my leg onto the concrete ledge, hoist myself onto the back porch, and hope the door to the kitchen is unlocked (see attached photo). Also, I'm barefoot and in boxer shorts.

So I make it to the top of the drain pipe, when suddenly it detaches and gets pulled out from the concrete wall by about a foot. I panic, and fireman-style slide down the pole to the ground below. Option #2 seems nice right now, and I go next door. The couple are old Greek grandparents who have been living in the house since 1952. I call a locksmith and then have tea with them (in my boxers) for 30 minutes while talking about how the neighborhood used to be. Apparently, in the good old days everyone on the street was either Greek, Italian, or Turkish. Also, "do Americans really buy their children breast implants for birthdays?" I said, "only in Los Angeles," and they nodded knowingly.

The locksmith came, opened the door in 30 seconds, I paid him a rediculous sum of money, biked to UQ, and made the last 15 minutes of the Stat lecture (the only part that mattered). I told Chris we should hide a spare key somewhere from now on, but he was worried about security issues.


Ben Whaley  said...

This is funny! Especially that you had tea in your boxers. I like that image.

I guess people don't leave their stuff unlocked in Australia like they do in Japan.


Olivia said...

I seem to remember a semi-similar incident senior year of high school, in which you got locked out of your house, climbed up onto your garage in an attempt to get inside, and then fell off of it. But I don't think you were in your boxers at the time, so not the same at all really.

Troy Steinmetz said...

Jack Conte probably wouldn't have had boxer on.

"Only in Los Angeles" Hah!